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I needed to update this website

Thinking back on the last month-and-a-half. Lots has happened since I last wrote. Well, not a whole lot except professionally. I’m at a place I want to be professionally.

[Extremely Jim Lampley voice after George Foreman knocked out Michael Moorer in 1994]

It happened! It happened!

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Personal

I don’t know what’s happening and I think that’s OK

You ever have that feeling where you want something really badly, but have no idea how to accomplish it, whether or not it’s possible in the first place or if it’s even the right thing? I’ve been in that mode before, but I’m really feeling it now.

I have a few grand plans and goals, but don’t know how it’s going to turn out. I’m trying. I’m trying to figure it out. I’m trying the best I can at doing these things, but, ultimately, I don’t know. I wish I did.

If anyone younger than 33 years old is reading this, know that us wiser, slightly older people don’t know what we’re doing either. In many ways this is fine and normal, but man is it terrifying.

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Over the last few months, I’ve come to really appreciate these views a galaxies, nebula, and so on from various satellites. This one is beautiful.

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I am not James Franco

What’s in a name? Confusion.

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I teach college classes in Southern California. James Franco also taught some college classes in Southern California – UCLA, USC and CalArts to be exact.

A friend once mentioned to me that he had heard about a student who signed up for a class taught by a “J. Franco.” According to my friend, that student thought it was James Franco, the actor turned college professor. She was confident. She was so sure of it, my friend said, because she had heard that he teaches classes at local colleges. (Acting and film classes, I teach journalism classes, but whatever.)

On day 1 of class, she surely showed up to the classroom at 8 a.m. and it wasn’t the Academy Award-nominated Franco, but rather, the highly-rated and well-respected, Jose Franco (me) instead.

I don’t know who that student might have been, whether or not she remained in the class, or how disappointed she might have been. Such is life.

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Personal

I just needed to write this out

Hello again. This is a brief update on what I’ve been doing. On what I’ve been thinking.

There are so many things going on in my life. So many things I need to manage and push through — some personal, some professional. So many plans and ideas I want to work on and see through to the very end (again, some personal, some professional).

There have been many times where I feel like there are barriers to every thing I want to accomplish. Some are, to be sure, real. Others are ones that I’ve built for myself. I feel like I’m inching closer to finally getting past them. I can tell I’m closer than I’ve ever been before. It is right in front of me.

I celebrated a birthday recently. I turned 32.

I didn’t expect – or want to be – where I’m “at” at this point in my still very young life. But at the same time, I really have accomplished things. It’s hard for me to see them. They’re not always obvious. These aren’t ones that make themselves clear until you see them in a larger scope. Others do see them, and it’s time to for me to recognize them, to accept them.

Up to now, I’ve helped people grow and succeed, given so many people worthwhile advice and ideas; it’s time I take my own advice and do something with the things I know to be true. It’s about time I get to where I need to be and to become the person I know I can be.

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One request

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I couldn’t find a photo of an apple, so I used this generic stock photo (of vinegar?) instead.

If I were to ever give in and create a dating site profile, I would list one thing and one thing only:

Must be able to tell the difference between varieties of red apples – golden delicious, Fuji, gala, honeycrisp and so on.

It may seem silly, but it’s the little things that matter most.

Remember that.

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Welcome to 2015

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This photo isn’t from tonight, but I hope it finds you well.

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Just want to post this for the night

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I thought about parenting and how bad I might be at it

Reading this again before I post it reads like a very rough comedy act.

Parenting doesn’t have an “entrance exam,” but if it did, it should have a few challenges or thresholds you need to clear for basic parenting. There should be a challenge that asks things like “Can you cut fruit with a knife?” Or, “How long does it take you to go to the market, buy a specific thing, and back?” A child’s life could be at stake.

I tried cutting apples with a knife today and it took about 20 minutes to wash and slice them. These weren’t pretty pieces either like you would see any other competent person doing the slicing. I ended up with weird, rhombus-shaped looking things. Some were big, some were small pieces. I would fear a child choking on the them.

When I go to the market, I don’t always find things I need. My brain doesn’t think like grocers do. I just don’t have that sense. I also panic when there are more than 15 people in a grocery store. I once walked in, saw three people by the produce section, panicked, then paced around a few aisles and left without anything. Security could have thought I was canvassing the place for a future crime or something. I get very self-conscious there. It’s as though I fear someone will look at me thinking to themselves, “This idiot must not have children. Thank God. He’s been looking at those apples for five minutes. Just pick some and go.”

There are other times when you tell yourself, “I just need orange juice … and some milk. Rubber gloves. I really liked that one cereal I tried last time … Some napkins. … Oh and I need a new, one of those, um, that thing on the drain in the sink. Yeah! What aisle would that be in?” But if you have a kid, you need to find that one thing: formula, diapers, or something else and come back in about 20 minutes or your child will never forgive you. And you’ll feel terrible when you come back with ingredients for a new vinaigrette recipe your sister gave you.

OK, thanks guys! You’ve been great!

(Applause)

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